Whining and Venting....(Sorry)

So, it's 2:54 a.m. and I am unable to sleep because of the impending stress that I see ahead of me in the next 6~8 weeks of nursing school so I thought I would get up and update Olivia's blog and run on the treadmill to relieve some stress.

School is going great. I love nursing school, although my grades are not where I would like them to be. That is something I am really having to learn to deal with. It makes you really question your confidence. The teachers told us to trust them, and that there was some reasoning to their madness, but man, it really hurts to study, study, study and not get that A... It makes you sick really! But, we'll see how it goes. I can also be honest and say I do not study like I should. I am struggling in this area because I want to spend my time with Jason and Olivia when I get home from school in the afternoons. Plain and simple. My heart looks back to three years ago when I would have done anything in this world to have my baby here, and now that she's here, all I want to do is be with her. I want to be the mommy I had always dreamed of, and I am not going to be able to do this the next 2 years and it is breaking my heart. I know people tell me that I am setting an example for her and being a role model for her, but all I can think about is the fact that I may not get these years back. (And oh, how I am loving these years :-) At any rate, I will do it. I will just continue to cry over my homework and wipe my snotty nose and show her how strong her mommy can be. I also know that this will benefit her in years to come. She is dealing quite well with my going to school, although she does have her moments. She started Westwood school when I started school and she loves it. I will tell you, they have been phenomenal. We love that place. She looks forward to going to school everyday. She also hasn't been as sick this year as she was last year, although she has been sick now for about 4 weeks. Let me just tell you about that too while I am at it!!! :-)

About 4 weeks ago Olivia started getting sick with what appeared to be a head cold or allergies. She had no fever and appeared to be fine except for the scratchy voice, super snotty nose and watery eyes. This continued for 2 WEEKS with my giving her allergy and cold meds with no success. So, after 2 weeks I decided she had suffered enough and figured she had ear infections or "sinus infection". Welp, took her to the doctor and because she had no flipping fever, the doctor wouldn't give her any meds. I was so ill. I know my child. My gosh, it has been two weeks people. Anyway, we went home and she got really sick over that weekend (last weekend, with a fever I might add!). I took her back this week and when they checked her this time, she had a fever, VERY swollen lymph nodes and one major sinus infection. He said her poor nose was swollen on the inside with white puss all in it. Isn't that pitiful??? Now see, had they just listened to mom, things would not have progressed to this. GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! All this went on for about 4 weeks. The two weeks of what I thought was allergies or sinus, then the week the doctors thought allergies and I thought sinus or ear infection, now the week they FINALLY figure it out.. Poor girl. She is finally on the road to recovery though. Whew!! I am still a little ill about the whole thing though, can ya tell???

So I will leave you with some pictures from our day at the pumpkin patch with Olivia's school. Sorry if this post was all negative and whiney, I don't usually like to be that way, but that is where I am this morning. I hope everyone has a Happy Halloween. I probably won't post again until then, (unless I get sad or mad about something else :-) Otherwise, I don't think I will have time.







Miss LeAnne and Miss Ashley

Miss Glenda and Miss Tina

Olivia and Victoria



Here is Jera trying to reassure Olivia that is was okay to go through the hay maze. It didn't work. Olivia wouldn't go through.

Olivia and Jera

Looking all grown up in this picture for some reason:-(


"Hold me daddy, hold me!!" Jason and I did discover on this trip that we hold Olivia a lot more than we should. Most of the kids wanted to walk around where Olivia wanted to be held a lot!! So spoiled..